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randomTingler@lemmy.world to Memes@lemmy.ml · 2 years ago

So Jesus is fossil fuel?

lemmy.world

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So Jesus is fossil fuel?

lemmy.world

randomTingler@lemmy.world to Memes@lemmy.ml · 2 years ago
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  • db2@sopuli.xyz
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    2 years ago

    I’m sure he wouldn’t mind turning a tank full of water in to alcohol. Let’s find out.

    • Granixo@feddit.cl
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      2 years ago

      I mean, it was his mother who convinced him on the first place.

      • ivanafterall@kbin.social
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        2 years ago

        “Baby, you know how mommy gets without her drinks, now do your little magic trick…”

    • WhiskyTangoFoxtrot@lemmy.world
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      2 years ago

      Or maybe the driver’s Catholic.

  • Spliffman1@lemmy.world
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    2 years ago

    He’s probably a fossil by now yes… Some would even debate that

    • moistclump@lemmy.world
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      2 years ago

      At the end of the Bible, Jesus is said to have ascended to heaven. For Jesus to power the vehicle he would have had to die and been buried.

      Ironically this person may be saying the Bible isn’t true, he didn’t ascend, he was human like us and died like us and became part of the carbon cycle like us.

      • Spliffman1@lemmy.world
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        2 years ago

        Wtf Everybody else, according to you guys, goes to heaven and they leave their bodies here. Why would he be the only one to take his physical body up there? His physical body should be just like everybody else, worm food

    • sorebuttfromsitting@sopuli.xyz
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      2 years ago

      he was a zombie, and no other zombies have survived for the fossil and archaeological record. so… eaten by other zombies? yes or no.

      • Spliffman1@lemmy.world
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        2 years ago

        The last zombie should have been fossilized unless he was eaten by something else

  • tubateit@lemmy.world
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    2 years ago

    The power of christ propels you!

  • Xusontha@ls.buckodr.ink
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    2 years ago

    jesussoarus rex

  • MudMan@kbin.social
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    2 years ago

    Pretty sure Jesus is a renewable power source. He does take three days to charge back up, though.

  • XTornado@lemmy.ml
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    2 years ago

    Ohh so God created the Dinosaurs after all…

    • DoucheBagMcSwag@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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      2 years ago

      “And the Winchester rifle to protect man from them and the homosexuals”

  • bi_tux@lemmy.world
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    2 years ago

    If Jesus is fossil fuel, that makes him a dead dinosaur, if he used to be a dinosaur, christians don’t have any arguments against evolution (not like they had some before tho)

    • Etterra@lemmy.world
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      2 years ago

      Surely you’ve heard of Raptor Jesus.

  • some_guy@lemmy.sdf.org
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    2 years ago

    Dinos turn into oil. Why wouldn’t Christ?

    • CyberEgg@discuss.tchncs.de
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      2 years ago

      Not enough time has passed for that process yet

  • elxeno@lemm.ee
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    2 years ago

    g-sus

  • bfe_hermit@lemmy.world
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    2 years ago

    How much horsepower is Jesus producing?

  • ohlaph@lemmy.world
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    2 years ago

    Maybe he turned water into ethanol?

  • Varyk@sh.itjust.works
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    2 years ago

    Unsustainable, dwindling, archaic resource, so yea

  • Ragerist@lemmy.world
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    2 years ago

    No no, religion is bullshit, sooo methane?

  • Etterra@lemmy.world
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    2 years ago

    No, see, Jesus is the illegal immigrant worker that uses bike pedals to power the Flux Capacitor. The engine still runs on ordinary gasoline. Except they don’t believe in science so they’re Flux Capacitor is just 3 silly straws with uninsulated wires running through them.

  • uphillbothways@kbin.social
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    2 years ago

    deleted by creator

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