I wish men wearing speedos weren’t considered gay, I know how unpopular this idea is but try swimming in them just once and you’ll hate going back to those clumsy board shorts.

While you’re waiting to die, please feel free to suffer in agony because assisted suicide isn’t profitable uh I mean ethical.

When you look at someone through rose colored glasses, the red flags just look like flags.

I’m on Linux bitch I thought you GNU.

Recently bought a rowing machine, gotta say I enjoy taking my frustrations from the day and putting that energy into rowing.