floating astronaut with pistol always has been

Open season on the tasty meat creatures

Welcome to the world of automotive repair, bad techs leave traps for the next guy who now misses time working around their fuckup

Maybe they tranqed the ostrich?

My research concludes that the only way the Ginger and Boots could have fucked an ostrich is if it was a dead ostrich.

“Have you ever tried simply turning off the TV, sitting down with your children, and hitting them?”.

-Bender Rodriguez

Also “Not gonna lie…” to start a sentence. Well thank you for that decency?

Arachnids win.

My stray kitten wouldn’t let me cut her claws so I tried the mobile vet. They handed her back to me and said it wasn’t worth the fight, and her sister was free.

13 months of 28 days with an extra holiday at years end, it works so much cleaner than what we use.

They used the song for an American win at the 2012 London Olympics, as well as “Werewolves of London” for a British win, a song with the line “little old lady got mutilated last night”.

“Anytime you think I’m being too rough, anytime you think I’m being too tough, anytime you miss-your-mommy, QUIT! You sign your 1240-A, you get your gear, and you take a stroll down washout lane. Do you get me?!” - Eugene Krabs

Lurn to spel

Weaponising stupid people into knee-jerk emotional reactions to concerns they never cared about before the moment.

Skilled paid stonemasons were required to build the tight fitting surface stones of this one, so some of the laborers were definitely not slaves, howeveri believe you’re correct I doubt the sled drag team was salary.

Exactly. We have 50 years of computer driven exponential growth and not a fucking thing is better for us. We don’t work less, travel more, be richer, live a better life, or have a better future for the planet. It should make everyone anti-capitalist.

A heel dragging regressive policy opinion should always be met as such. The world will never go back to the Wild West with gun laws, whites owning everything, women are property etc; to have a political viewpoint desiring these things and feel that it is correct is laughable.

If you were slower he pushed you out of the way, it’s everyone’s dream on the interstate these days.

His Holdenness

Shawshank Redemption

Fucking hilarious at parts, definitely a Mel Brooks production. Worth a watch through once for sure