Cheating is definitely in the minority of my social circle. I know of 2 amongst 100. At least people who were shameless enough to be admitting it.

That said, I do have maybe 5 open relationships in my friend group? I don’t usually ask, so maybe 10 total. My wife and I are monogamous. If you’re not, whatever, you do you. It isn’t a religious thing, it’s just how we roll.

But good lord at least talk about it, agree on it and stick with it. If you don’t then you’re a dick.

So what is the point of an email client? I’ve only ever really used web pages because it did everything I need.

There’s two types of costume contests, cosplay contests that break things down by experience, and random Halloween contests that are basically reenactments of popularity contests in high school.

The former you’re gonna enter as a journeyman unless you built something so outrageous they gotta up the difficulty level. Make sure you have a TON of documentation and pics and explanations on how you did things. The judges are gonna wanna know how hard you worked on things and the amount of detail you put into it. If you spent 8 hours on the gold colored filigree on your bracers you damn well better mention it Typically unless you’re doing best performance, you get three poses and you’re off the stage. By the time you hit the stage the judges typically made their decisions so play to the crowd and do what looks good on film. If you are going for best performance, don’t feel pressured to use your full five minutes, or however long they give. Waaay to many people overstay their welcome, you wanna leave the people wanting more, not less. Hit your points, your high note, and if you’re still only halfway through your time, whatever. You’re not disqualified if you don’t use your time completely, and people will greatly appreciate someone moving the schedule faster than usual.

For the latter Halloween costume contests, effort means NOTHING. You could’ve thrown the damn thing together in five minutes and win, and if you spend 16 hours on it it will not improve your chances. The venue is looking for costumes that look great on the social media, is a character they love, makes them laugh, blows their mind, causes the venue to cheer, and (this is the most important bit) appears in front of whoever the hell is judging the competition. It’s 1 to 3 people who pick on the previously mentioned criteria. Each judge is gonna be a little different. Some judges listen to the crowd, some judges love horror films so every slasher villain goes on stage, some judges do NOT know what the hell a star wars is. The one thing that all judges have in common though, is that they exist in a 3 dimensional space and only have eyes in front of their head. If you’re a wall flower that doesn’t interact with people, you will not win the contest unless the judge is also sharing your wall. Build a dance circle, tip the bartender to figure out who’s judging tonight (they may or may not know) but if you wanna win, physics dictates that you appear in front of a judge as they wander the venue. That is more important than your costume.

Same reason why people stick with wells Fargo even if they can move to a credit union. It takes effort, changes to habit, and risk just to gain… what you already have.

Same here, Manga and lemmy. I’ve been slowly trying to add discord to the rotation but I find it taxing. It’s so hard to keep track of which friend group is which and I can’t label servers with my own label

See, I don’t think water is the way to do it. I think you do it with a massive lead pole with teeth to lock into a gear.

Fully contained, no spillage

Oh, see I was thinking a portal on the ISS, but absolutely you could place one against the other, plop in a MASSIVE pole with teeth to match a gear, and just constantly generate power.

Oh I know, that’s why I say go to events. Going to a coffee shop or even a club aren’t places I’d recommend. Interacting is so expensive there in terms of energy, anxiety, and stress.

But a lot of events have a lot more contextual options. Where questions are appreciated, as well as compliments. Anime conventions are a great example. “How did you make this?” “What show is this from?” “What is this line for?” “Can I get a picture?” “You look awesome”

Would never do that in a coffee shop.

WHICH IS WHY WE TREAT MOXXIE NICE

AND EXPLOSIONS!!!

So one year my sister an I save up for a game cube. We had Kirby air ride, a few controllers, a few Zelda games, we were happy campers.

Christmas rolls around and the first thing I unwrap for christmas? Halo: Combat Evolved.

We’re good sports about it, everybody makes mistakes, second and third gifts? two xbox controllers.

the morning continued, memory cards, some xbox party game, the works.

right at the end, the SOB reveals he won an xbox in a raffle.

happy ending, but god damn that was an awkward Christmas start

I would always suggest never force yourself to interact with people. I’m just saying be adjacent. You don’t have to force yourself to interact with people. Just at least be around them.

Forcing yourself to interact with a person for no other reason than interaction is ALWAYS awkward. It takes skill to plow through the awkwardness. Speed dating, speed friending, date auctions, are always awkward for this reason. Small talk can be difficult but if you treat someone more like google asking a question you actually care about. It’s a lot less awkward. People like to be experts, and treated as such.

It’s why I say just, wander. It’s alright not speaking to anybody for hours at an event. Walk through it like you would a forest. Take in the sights and sounds. Try to find something truly interesting.

The biggest mistake I see is that people don’t ever mix with people anymore.

Honestly the biggest single question I would ask if I wanted to bet how likely someone gets a partner would be “how often do you leave your house outside of work and grocery shopping” Do stuff. Dating apps try to bring single folk to you but you’ll have far more fun just… doing stuff. Doesn’t matter if you go alone or with a group, it’s usually more fun than just browsing the internet.

Go to a car show, go to an anime/scifi/star trek/furry convention, go to a craft fair, go to a bar and sit at the counter, find some way to have fun in public. Don’t even bother trying to hunt down a partner, just have fun in a public setting. If you find ways to have fun in public, you start going out in public more. You do that, you start meeting potential partners by accident. Not only that:

1. You start learning social skills

Being surrounded by strangers means you can do a faux pas and nobody will remember it was you a week from now. They’re strangers, they remember the story but not the person. A group of strangers can be oddly freeing, you can say no to them and never see them again. If they judge you you’ll probably never see them again.

2. You start learning about your area

I learned Minneapolis has a fire breathing co-op so you can learn to juggle flames, a 501st legion of starwars cosplayers that can bring the empire to any event, a working ecto 1 that sometimes prowls the streets and has a youtube series.

3. You start becoming more interesting.

Did you click the links? You see what I mean? Now this is an interesting post. You now have things to talk about, about the land around you to whoever you’re talking to. It also provides two really great topics to talk about. “what have you found around here?” “what have I found around here?” Is there another event? A club or bar that is just bizarre? A sport or game you’ve never heard of. Apparently Minnesota’s roller derby team is amazing, still haven’t found the time to watch a game, but if you can find one, why not try there?

Seriously just… do something. Find an event. If you think it’s stupid then try to verify if it’s stupid. (never was interested in cars, but it was free. Turns out the car show had the ecto 1, and the adam west batmobile. My hypothesis was proven wrong) Instead of scrolling through lemmy or facebook, wander around an event and watch and listen. If you see a booth, ask about it.

I found that I could keep things interesting to me by basically playing a scavenger hunt with events. Go to an event and find your next event at the event you’re at. An event can be anything from a party, a convention, to a place that’s just plain interesting. It also really got people interested. Whenever I brought up my quest “find an event at this event”, people loved the idea and would often try to help. Heck, sometimes they’d even tag along at the next one.