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Joined 2 years ago
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Cake day: June 17th, 2023

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  • A reciprocal arrangement would also work. My little terror will soon be at the point of having a mobile phone. My wife and I already share locations in real time. They will get the same arrangement. We can check on them, however, they can also check on our location. Moving on from this, in the future will be a negotiation, not an ultimatum.

    It’s also worth noting however, that a level of accountability is required with phones and social media for children. Knowing that mum or dad might go through their phone to check things makes them think about what they are doing. It is also required to make sure they don’t err too badly. The key is to be open, clear and reasonable in your requirements of them. Also, never mock or belittle. To you, it might be a cute minor kids spat. To them, it’s the life or death of their entire social life.

    If you have a good relationship with your children, these will be a non-issues. Mutual respect (not fear) is a FAR better position to take, parenting wise.






  • I agree with the mental bandwidth. I’m fine with he/him, she/her, they/them. I’ll also tend to default to appearance, though I will try and correct if asked to do so.

    I’ve yet to find anyone who wasn’t also an arsehole who has an issue with this. That includes places where seeing an obvious male in a dress could equally be someone taking their first steps away from norm, or just a guy that likes wearing dresses. Also, neither was seen as unusual at the event.


  • I help with a social group. We jokingly refer to it as anarchism under a lazy iron fist.

    Day to day decisions are made in a fairly ad-hoc manner, by those involved. If there is a disagreement that can’t be resolved, or if it will have large repercussions (e.g. changing the fabric of the building) it gets raised to the committee and chairman.

    The chairman is the sort who is only there because no one better wanted the role. He has no interest in micromanaging, but will resolve issues to get them to go away.

    It’s a remarkably effective system. Unfortunately it’s a bit unstable in large groups. Those who want the role are also those you REALLY don’t want with that power. No one has yet solved the issue however. How the f@#£ do you keep the troublemakers out, when they are also the ones most willing to work towards getting the role?

    The other problem with anarchism is that the natural self policing systems break down by the Dunbar limit. Parasitical or cancerous behaviours tend to become crippling, forcing people to adopt other unofficial power structures.









  • Just noticed a slight typo, fixed now. Also, at that point, most of the tests are useless and distinguishing the differences.

    It’s also quite weird. To me, it’s completely normal. It actually took significant mental training to match up with how others think. I knew I was quick, but not that quick.

    Unfortunately, it’s also a coping mechanism (adhd + autism + a few more quirks). My brain handles certain tasks abnormally. E.g. I can’t read emotions intuitively. I have to brute force it with general intelligence methods. I also have memory issues, again, compensated for with brute calculations.

    It’s a bit like being terrified of riding vehicles. You learn to cope. You then get slightly surprised when people complain how hard marathons are. You jog the 15 miles to work and back everyday! It’s not that hard. You develop the skills because you need them.

    Intelligence (particularly IQ) is also only a subset of being smart. I know people far smarter than me. Their IQ might not be at the same level, but they can leverage it massively more than I can. I’m a hot rod, amazing on a 1 mile track, crap on normal roads.


    1. Yes, I even have the paperwork to back that up. (99.7 percentile)

    2. No, I’m also a classic example of the difference between intelligent and smart. I’m a 1000hp engine in a reliant Robin van. Immense power, but limited in my ability to apply it to useful tasks.

    3. I’m the main character in my story. I know, logically, that I’m just another speck of humanity to others, but my ego can’t function in that state, so it doesn’t.

    Edit: apparent an extra 9 slipped in.