These come to mind where you can kill enemies, be a girl, and are or are similar to an rpg:
Middle Earth: Shadow of War: main character is a guy but in one of the expansions you can play the story as Galadriel. Killing monsters and game mechanics are peak
Skyrim Mods: ik you mentioned Skyrim, but The Wheels of Lull, The Tools of Kagrenac, and The Forgotten City are game sized mods in of themselves and are very good
Elder Scrolls III Morrowind and IV Oblivion: both as good as Skyrim, but in different ways. Go in with an open mind and you will be amazed
Star Wars KOTOR I & II: my favorite games of all time, very much games where you can choose how your character acts and who they become. Great story too, as a fan of star wars or not
Command and Conquer perhaps? CC Tiberium Wars came out around 2007. Starcraft is also a similar RTS; Starcraft 2 came out in 2010