Pooptimist

I studied German philology for far too long because of sunken cost phalacy, while I had a monotone student job localizing e-learning presentations until I got laid off. Then I took part in a programming bootcamp and have been a Frontend Web developer for the last 4 years.

Recently, I’m feeling a little unsatisfied because I’m very much a jack of all trades, master of none kinda person, and to get further in my field I would have to have a really deep understanding of how things works under the hood, and those abstract things are very hard for me to grasp. Even harder since I had covid two years ago with ensuing brain fog for more than half a year, which still makes it harder to learn new things and keep them in my memory, which is quite sad because I always learned pretty fast…

Now that I have been part of this hamster wheel of corporate bullshit for quite some time I feel that I want to do more creative stuff with programming, as I was always interested in art and making music (which sadly also has declined because of perfectionism and anxiety), and creating visual stuff brings me into the zone where the hours fly by, but adapting some configs or working with abstract data stuff does not.

Should my job get taken by AI I want to do something with my hands, like wood or metal working, or something where I can help people, but let’s see.

On the other hand I should be glad that I have a stable job that pays well and the people there are really nice, but I feel something is missing in my life. I tried to buy happiness and materialism, but somehow I was happier when I had less

Wait, what?!

You could give Italo Disco a try, which is a predecessor to synthwave and a lot of electronic dance music.

A contemporary niche cousin that I liked to listen to a few years back is giallo disco, which is a contemporary imitation of dark synth music inspired by 80s Italian horror movies.

From there I progressed to trance and house, acid techno and other synth heavy dance music genres.

Give a listen to “Music inspired by the snowgoose” by camel.

They were a psychedelic /progressive rock band from the UK who wanted to write an album based on a short story called The snowgoose. The author wasn’t a fan, unbelievably, so they scratched the lyrics and added “music inspired by” to the album title. The whole album is a journey that I can’t recommend enough!

For me it had the opposite effect, sadly. I was pretty confident in myself two years ago, but then I got covid a second time and since then I’m not quite the same. I get nervous all the time and feel stressed easily, which in turn makes me feel sick and sweaty, which makes me nervous again. It’s gotten better through therapy, CBD oil and supplements for the brain, but I’m still not back to my old self and might never be

Alright, time to order a grow box again!

How much grams were needed for that?

How did you do that?

I can imagine, but you can do it! :)

You can sleep after doing blow? How? Haha

Thanks for the kind words! I’ve been battling with it for around a year now or maybe a little longer. I suspect long covid, because it basically followed a hefty period of brain fog after a covid infection, but therapy and supplements help immensely :)

I’m running the pre-made campaign season of ghosts as a first time GM. It’s an Asian themed mystical horror setting and it does a good job of guiding me through it as I don’t have that much experience running games yet.

The only thing that is a little debatable is the difficulty of the fights, which are intended to be on the easier/very easier side, which I don’t really like, so I’m adjusting the fights, but I have five players and it is written for four, so that makes it even harder to gauge, as well as some variant rules we use that make the PCs a little stronger.

Until now, the PCs steamrolled pretty much every fight and boss fight, but yesterday I upped the difficulty dramatically and it was a really exciting boss battle! So I think I’m finally getting a grasp on gauging the difficulty better

I overcame my social anxiety today and went to the office after a long period of sickness and it was great! I really missed seeing other people than my wife for a change! :D In the evening I ran my pathfinder campaign and it went really well, save for some hiccups from foundry, which is the online tool that we are using, so maybe an 8?

2000 - 2010’s indie rock/pop like the kooks, mando diao, vampire weekend, etc

A friend recommended pitchfork yesterday to me. Haven’t gotten around to it though

If you play pathfinder, paizo (the publishers/creators) have a discord with group finder threads and stuff

Metal gear solid 3 is IMO one of the best games ever made

Toilet paper

I’m recently enjoying walkscape, which is an RPG where you have to walk in real life to progress in game activities, such as crafting or fighting.

It’s in closed beta, but you can sign up for the next wave of beta invites and I got in pretty fast

Also, I downloaded streetcomplete but haven’t really gotten around to it. It’s an app where you map out your surroundings for open source maps with Infos, like opening times at a bank or the width of the street or the type of road, etc. A cool concept, but I always forget about it

Pottery and learning blender and creating characters which I then can animate

For me it was Monster Hunter World. I’d be lying in bed and on my head I was just going through the motions of fighting a monster, complete with the button combinations and all.

Bonus: when I started learning programming I was at an after Party at a friend’s place after a night out and was on a few things and when I closed my eyes I would see lines of code and functions etc.

I then went to the toilet after partaking in some ketamin, and I tried to solve/debug the function in my head to release urine from my bladder. Fun times!