You should watch “My Name is Earl”.

Getting old quickly

“THERE ARE FOUR LIGHTS!”

A local radio DJ said once that if he’s feeling fancy he says “Da Ta” like “ta-da!” Cracked me up way more that it should have.

Sit up straight. Breath in as much as you can. Then a little bit more. Hold as long as you can. Let it out slowly.

Works every time for me.

“Brian”…?

My sudoko app has a daily challenge.

Why are you grilling them? It’s better than making others feel bad to make yourself feel better…

Don’t answer if you don’t like the question. Why be a dck about it?

Is that a Wheaten? We have a Wheaten, Will FD…

It was the tv at the foot of our bed. Saturday Night Live was on, but the skits were kinda so so. So, the wife and I start getting frisky. A few minutes in and all I heard was “I’m the sexiest girl in the sixth grade…NO NO you can’t say that!” The skit was a couple trying to talk dirty, but the woman is saying some messed up stuff. Totally ruined the moment, but turned out to be one of the funniest skits I’ve seen for a while.

I just hope it doesn’t need some kind of crazy power supply, but that’s what I want. Any kind of food or drink whenever you like.

Can I make a replicator?

Nightmare on Elm Street. Don’t think I was quite 10 yet.

Hi, Avocado!

All pro athletes are younger than me. Except maybe a hockey player or two.

A lot of politicians come to mind, but the “Kid Rock shooting a bunch of beer” was a good one.

There is’s

It’s a trap!

Good citizen.

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