I had one couple who used my address for everything. They ordered a laptop with my email. ITunes, Netflix, disney+. They’d signed up for USPS’s informed delivery with my account. I could have stolen so much shit from them over the years. But I always tried to correct the issue.

It finally stopped when they used my email for their wedding registry. Instead of trying once again to do the right thing, I logged into the registry, removed all of their tasteful items, added a faux tigerskin rug (the kind with the whole head at one end), a bunch of this jewel-tone stuffed curvy furniture that would be perfect for a 70s fuckroom, clown-themed carnival games, a popcorn cart, and a shitload of baby items.

Any website that has an app associated with it also gets a notification for me about opening the website in the app. It doesn’t just happen once, though. It happens at every page you browse on that site. It makes a handful of shopping websites practically unusable. It didn’t happen on my old phone, so I’m not sure why it’s happening now or how to stop it. I’m not going to download an app for the one time a year I got to home depot’s website or whatever.

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